I know what you’re thinking? What’s wrong with excellence and trying my best at leadership? Nothing. We should strive to lead with excellence. What I’m referring to is going to an extreme where we try to be SuperMan, SuperMom, SuperLeader, SuperPastor, etc.
I came to this realization a few years when I took a sabbatical and God opened my eyes to my pride. You see, I took pride in being a SuperPastor and thought that no other pastor was as dedicated as me. I would meet with men in my church that needed counseling and a listening ear until midnight or 1am (leaving my wife and kids at home). I thought I was an amazing pastor and super leader. The truth is this unhealthy practice of late nights helping others fed my ego, made me look down on other leaders/pastors and was a horrible example to my family.
The truth is this unhealthy practice of late nights helping others fed my ego, made me look down on other leaders/pastors and was a horrible example to my family.
When I returned from my sabbatical I wrote a declaration that I only showed to my wife, that put my foot down and vowed to work within established boundaries and office hours. If someone needed to talk to me, they could make an appointment and meet me in my office (during the day). Of course, we all have those midnight phone calls with emergencies (deaths, accidents, etc.). I’m not talking about these situations. I’m talking about things that can be handled during the normal work day, leaving the rest of the evening and night for me to be at home with my family (my first ministry).
Do not overwork yourself just to become wealthy; have enough sense to know when to quit. – Proverbs 23:4 (Voice)
Of course, everything I say is in love and is a reflection of my own pride and weakness. My hope is to exhort you, friend, to set healthy boundaries. Your family, church, and congregation will thank you. Your health is vital for your longevity of life and ministry.
For now, what are some boundaries you have placed on your time, life and career to protect your health, life, and marriage? Is this something you struggle with?
Drake De Long-Farmer
Wow. This article resonates with me. How easy it is to get our worth and identity in what we DO instead of who we ARE and of course, to not set healthy boundaries is deadly. What is so good about this article is the focus, not so much, on boundaries of others, but boundaries to ourselves. The things we let in, the things we can control. When you see your phone ring, or that message come in, we don’t need to answer it. Better yet, why have our phone on us at all? Thank you Greg for this article!
Bo Lane
Agreed. And I don’t think it just applies to pastors. Even those of us who have left the ministry or have never even been employed by a church can heed these words. Put those phones away and dedicate more time toward family and ourselves!
GregAtkinson
Yep. I was preaching to myself. It’s easy to have my phone glued to my hand.
GregAtkinson
Thanks, my friend.