During my burnout period I had a chance to go to a leadership conference. The big dilemma was what to have printed on my nametag. Everyone there would be a leader of some organisation. Their names and positions would quickly define them. But what should I put? I could have listed a number of great and wonderful roles, but they were all in the past. I could just put ex-so-and-so. Who was I now? What place did I play in the cosmos? I toyed with putting the truth, “burnt out pastor”, but wondered what reaction that would get. I could describe myself by my qualifications or as a husband, lover and great father.
A blank seems so empty, just like me. Guys in particular often define themselves by the roles that they play. I started to think, “what am I doing hanging out with people who are exceptional leaders?” Then I remembered that until a few months ago I could fill out the blanks and that I could have worn a name tag that made me feel good. I started to realise that some of the guys who would be there weren’t so different to me. I am a good leader; it’s just that I have grown weary. Maybe the tag should just read “Someone to talk to if you are feeling that you are on the way out”.
My burnout will take a while to come back from. As I see the costs of our ministry choices being played out in my whole family I know that it will be a long road for all of us. There are things that we just have to get over but there are so many other things that will require the touch of God and a gentle restoration of confidence in ourselves and our fellow believers. This restoration of confidence will take time, I believe that it will happen but I have seen guys who haven’t made it through. Sometimes the wounds caused by Christ’s followers and life in churchworld have been faith-fatal.
I am thankful that I have never been gutted and left for the birds to prey on, but some pastors have. Some have been treated so badly by churches and leaders that it makes you wonder whether Jesus has already taken away His lamp stand from their churches. Some of these guys are hurt almost beyond healing. They are bitter and angry and leave ministry with a distorted view of everything. Unless someone bothers to seek to bring healing and restoration, their chances of surviving are slim.
We all get hurt and are disappointed by people around us. When abused, used or unappreciated by those who do not know God, we can take those blows on the chin. They hurt but we can still keep fighting. However, hard blows from those in whom the Spirit of God allegedly dwells hurt more.
Just Move On
It is easy to say “get over it”, “move on”, but for me to really be able to get over it there needs to be a deep, inner healing and the mending of relationships. We don’t want to just get over it as this would just gloss over the real problem. The real problem is that churchworld doesn’t always see its connection and responsibility to pastorpain. Somehow in the collective sense “the church” is responsible, but often the individuals who make up the collective don’t realise their responsibility in contributing to, or failing to prevent pastorpain.
Maybe this book is about “not getting over it”. Maybe it’s about forcing the issue and not backing down until it gets on the agenda. Overall, people love their pastors and want the best for them. To say “just get over it” to pastors who are burnt out will mean that they may never be able to get over it. It is Jesus’ plan that our relationships be bathed in love, forgiveness, healing and commitment. While leaders and pastors are hurting, churchworld needs to realise that repairs have to be made. It’s a combination of every person’s relationship to the pastor that creates the cumulative church/ pastor effect.
Some churches will not get it at all. They will march on and wonder what that guy was on about. They will never understand pastorpain and hope that he gets a “real job” and sees what it’s like “in the real world”. Other churches will throw some money and goodwill at the problem. Nice, bring it on, but there needs to be more. There needs to be healing and restoration and a commitment to ongoing care. There needs to be a commitment to rescue.
Believe me, I want to get over it, but I will only be able to if you help and bring pain relief.
How have you recovered from burnout and pastorpain?
This is an excerpt from Steve Bagi’s book, Pastorpain. Used with permission.
Sparkling_jewel
If you look from a spiritual perspective, burnout can be equated as trials and tribulations. It is through burnout that the Lord strengthens you and shapes your direction in life. Your sweat is never as priceless as compared to when the glory of the Lord falls in your church, His Bride. “You will indeed drink from My cup but to sit at my right or left is not for me to grant. These places belong to those for whom they have been prepared by My Father” ( Matthew 20:23 ). Burnout gives you the access to sit next to Jesus.
Drake Farmer
In your opinion, how do we know when burnout is trials and trIbulation that needs to be walked through, and when something needs to change?
Sparkling_jewel
Pastoral ministry is the most challenging ministry and very often pastors are the ones who suffer burnout. Burnout happens when these pastors feel extremely distressed as a result of not achieving a goal ( or goals ) during the course of leading the flock. At this point of time, many would feel like they are failures and could then be on the verge of giving up on their ministry because they don’t see positive results. Little do they know that this may be a test from the Lord. When the Lord tests them, they should be able to hear the voice of God during these times of trials if they have been walking closely with the Lord. It is at this hour of test that the Lord is doing a transformation, be it in their character or the way they lead or it could be the Lord is birthing new ministries in the church. If the pastors cannot catch the spiritual vision here, they would go the easy way by giving it up all together, thus they would not see the glory of the Lord in the end. On the other hand, if these pastors renew their spirit in the Lord and keep praying in the Spirit, they will actually be able to endure and persevere till the trials are over and they begin to see victory. So, when burnout occurs, the pastor needs to know that something good is around the corner and that we walk through it with much anticipation that positive changes are taking place. Well, I don’t know if my opinion here has answered your question. Let’s discuss.
Drake Farmer
So, are you saying all burnout situations can be avoided if they were simply more in tune with the spirit and what He is doing? Seeing God and the trial He is taking them through? As in, are you saying all burn out situations are simply trials and tribulations?
Jim King
From my discernment burnout is from constant or frequent unfulfilled expectations. As a retired prison chaplain I saw it among my colleagues who were trained at the same seminaries as many pastors. My approach is that I am a chosen, called, and gifted vessel of the Holy Spirit to be led by Him in the current moment. (The past is history, the future a mystery and now is a gift, that’s why they call it the present:)). If I let my expectations be defined by the wisdom of men and it is at all in conflict with God’s intentions I will wear out in the spiritual warfare I am in. Congregational pastors in North American have great pressures from their congregations that have had their expectations formed more by the general and a kind of “churchianity” culture that is from the wisdom of men. I have great respect for those respond to that calling but trusting God to guide you in the current moment in the face of “Christian” culture is exactly what the revivalists the Great Awakenings and other revivals had to face and their perspectives need to be imitated.