Recently, I attended a retirement service for the pastor who had served at our church for 17 years. It was also a commissioning service, as she “passed the baton” to the pastor who was taking her place. It was touching, and honored both parties. But as the chairs were stacked and the last pictures were taken, as desks and rooms were left empty, I wondered whether or not there would be an emptiness in her heart too. Of course she optimistically discussed looking forward to getting more rest, reconnecting with family on the other side of the island, and being free to be involved in other ministries. But I still wondered. Because I know how hard church is for me now as a “missionary” and I can’t imagine what it would be like “post ministry.”
The topic of church is something I’ve been thinking about a lot and talking about with a number of likeminded people over the past few weeks, and I still have more questions than answers. But my main question for this post is about leadership and community. I’m wondering how to do church when church doesn’t meet your needs for one reason or another. I had come to peace with my own reasons for going to church, but the fact still remained that I was part of a church where, due to a language barrier, I wouldn’t be spiritually fed, was limited in my ability to serve outside of teaching English, and was still learning how to connect to the culture and community. I imagine it might feel the same for others who are in situations such as those who:
So this may seem like a niche post, but what I’m thinking about is how do you remain a part of a local church when you are not able to serve to the best of your abilities? Even though it’s a question for these individuals to answer, leaders can make it easier on them by finding out where they’re at, communicating with them, and providing pressure-free opportunities. Church members can make it easier by not judging, not expecting someone to behave in a certain way just because they used to be a pastor, or a pastor’s kid or wife, or a Sunday school teacher etc. etc. etc. It’s easy to be relegated to the sidelines if you’re not in active ministry, which may carry a lot of guilt with it.
So what’s the solution? Do you go to church at all? Do you find a new church where you try to keep your past experience a secret as long as possible, as if serving God is some black mark on your record? All too often, it does feel like revealing such information is equivalent to volunteering to do whatever is asked of you. Do you offer up your time and talents because that’s what you’re supposed to do? I think it’s going to look different for each person, but remember that church attendance doesn’t determine your entrance into heaven. And while I discourage people from taking a selfish/consumer-oriented approach to church (what can I get out of it?), I do think it’s important to find a community where you can grow, and you may need to look outside the church to find that, even if you are still showing up on Sunday morning.
It’s important to find a community where you can grow, and you may need to look outside the church to find that, even if you are still showing up on Sunday morning.
Feed Yourself
There might be times you are in a church where you are not challenged by the teaching. If there are reasons preventing you from finding another community, then you will have to take responsibility for your own spiritual growth. In my life, that has looked like sitting around a computer listening to John Piper sermons on Sunday night, hooking up a podcast to the TV on Sunday morning, and having my own sunrise service on Easter with a few friends. The long and short of it is that it’s your responsibility to connect with God, and church attendance doesn’t take the place of a real relationship with Him. Find people who will pray with you, hold you accountable, and encourage you. Find people you can mentor. Find people who are pursuing God and run together for a time. Just because you are not actively serving in a church as a pastor, small group leader, worship leader, Sunday school teacher etc. doesn’t mean you’re off the hook, and it doesn’t mean God won’t use you in the lives of those around you.