3. Equip and empower the congregation to do ministry.
I know that it is easier said than done, trust me, I know. But part of our calling is not to simply call or demand people to serve. Instead we need to inspire, equip and empower people for ministry. This means we need to do some foundational work.
Maybe you are not the personality to do that–to lead in such a way. That’s alright. But find someone who is and has the knowhow, character and gained the right to lead and empower them to do so. They are wired to do it, so don’t feel guilty. Be willing to share the glory and reigns–ego can be a huge stumbling block in this.
Delegate anything that you don’t need to be doing to others who are passionate, so you can focus on what you were called to do. You would be amazed how many people are willing to step up, when all they are waiting for is for you to ask. I have found that asking in front of the church does not work, people need the human touch (I recruited 80+ volunteers in the 3 months, simply by asking and every one of them were excited about the opportunity & simply needed to be asked).
4. Know when to kill a ministry or pass something off. We can’t do everything.
Don’t feel guilty to ask for help and inspire your church to work alongside you. As stated above, what I have found over the years, most people are just waiting for an ask.
Don’t create ministries and fill the holes though. Don’t ask people or try and fit them into things that they are not passionate about or gifted to do. Instead, find the passions and gifts of people and build ministries around them. Start with asking people what they are passionate about and see how they are gifted and build the church around that.
I know sacred cows can be hard to kill, but they sometimes need to die. If there is no one to lead it… don’t have it. Change takes time, and you need to choose your battles, so aim for this whenever possible.
5. Get a hobby that you can measure in quantified growth.
So often we get discouraged because growth is so slow and sporadic and when people are encouraged by our ministry and are growing, we rarely hear about it. This can be so discouraging. It would be awesome if those we ministered to actually shared more good than bad, but this too, hardly ever happens
One small thing we can do is find a hobby where we can walk away and say: “look what I did.” I worked with a pastor that gardened because he said he can actually see it grow. For myself, I go rock climbing. There is a goal, something to strive for and accomplishments I can celebrate. Find something where you can be something other than a pastor and not feel you need to win every soul around you.
6. Find support outside the walls of your church.
Look for other ministers/colleagues and/or mentors to feed into you and also feed into them and give support and prayer. Maybe there is no one in your context and you need to get creative, like using skype, phone calls, etc. I am connected with someone who is on the other side of the country right now. Friends outside your church is a great start. This gives a place where not only you can vent and mutually feed each other, but a place where you can be yourself.
7. Give yourself a break.
You don’t need to be perfect. No seriously! Listen to me: You are allowed to be human, to make mistakes, to have struggles, to not have perfect kids, to not be put on a pedestal and you are not the example for everyone else to follow. We are co-workers in the gospel with those we minister to. Help people to see this: show your blemishes and remind your congregation that you and your family are forgiven sinners too.
We want to strive for excellence, but not perfection. No one can carry that burden. If you are a people-pleaser and worry about performance or have that pressure put on you, maybe you need a season to get away and deal with this. This is a major ministry killer.
PJ
Its amazing how just doing one of these can reduce the stress in your job / life. Something that helped me during my time in the ministry was that I was going to try to say no more than yes to things that were outside my main ministry. I know that sort of sounds cruel, but it truly helped my family and def. didn’t hurt my ministry. I also surfed a lot, which always helps reduce the stress that can be ministry.
Drake Farmer
Amen and Amen PJ. Both were huge things for me. Saying no was a hard thing for me for a long time. But at some point I needed to realize that if my attention was divided and spread to thin, not only do I take to much time away from my family and personal needs, but I also don’t minister well. I do a whole lot of things poorly, instead of being focused on fewer things and doing them well and with excellence.
And right on with you on the surfing. I took off notifications from my phone for things like facebook and close the tab on my browser. They will be there when I check them later. Having my device ding every 5-15 minutes def sidetracks.
Another huge one that our lead pastor shared was if a task can be done in the 2 minutes I have at hand, I do it right away instead of putting it off. You would be amazed how much time that saves.
Thanks for the input PJ, great thoughts. 🙂
PJ
I find that my time in ministry has prepared me for business and my time in the business world prepared me for the ministry. So many times, the church doesn’t want to run the church like a business. But the realization is that we can take the qualities of both and use them in each other. I use a method called the Pomodora (basic time management / eyes off the screen). Every 25 mins, I take a 5 min break. I walk around, I hug my kids (I work from home), go outside to get fresh air, something to take my mind off the job.
Had I known about this method during my time in the ministry I might not have burned out, well that might not be true but you never know. I think we need these little “good distractions” to help us focus and return to what truly matters.
I like the if it can be done in 2 mins, do it mentality. So many little things take up much of our time because we didn’t just take care of it when we had the time.
I truly appreciate this article. We need good, constant reminders that we are humans as well as ministers. And that that combination does not make us superhuman.
Drake Farmer
PJ another great point! Yeah, I have been using that technique, without even realizing, since I was in college writing papers. It is amazing what getting up and walking away for a few minutes can do to help get a refresher and some perspective. Thanks for mentioning that.
Also, I agree. We can gain truth and principles from many differing fields. We don’t need to accept or adopt a entire framework just because we see benefits to part of it. Awesome point.
Glad you enjoyed the article and hope it benefits you as learning the experience has for me. 😉
Kelly E McClelland
Drake thank you for these tips! I resonate with the time management, expectations and hobby as all these have been helpful to my missionary leadership ministry. One thing I see often is unvoiced expectations creating tension, stress, burnout and dysfunction. Why didn’t they teach us that in ministry training?
Drake Farmer
I hear you. I think I learned so much more in the trenches and wondered why this wasn’t in the ‘manual’.
I am glad the article resonated with you, it is always encouraging to know that.
Can you go a bit deeper on the idea of ‘unvoiced expectation’?
Kelly E McClelland
When I speak of “unvoiced expectations” I probably would be more precise to say “unspoken”. From my coaching experience and as a missionary leader I see a lot of issues spring from lack of clear communications and unspoken expectations. This is true of both pastors/ministers and church members.
Often the stress and friction we experience in ministry is because we are both working under a different set of expectations.
Sort of like chores at home… your wife “expects” you to take out the trash. She has never told you that is her expectation though. You don’t “expect” to have to do that, so you do not! Her attitude toward you expresses a bit of frustration, yet you do not understand why since you think you are doing what YOU need to do.
Does that make sense?
In our churches, we need to discuss our mutual expectations with one another. Otherwise the trash builds up and so does the frustration! :-0
Drake Farmer
Yes. What I thought you were getting at. Thought it would be good to clarify and flush out. 😉
And I def agree. That can def cause a lot of stress. The always wondering and second guessing or doing and then being corrected or just a lack of guidance and understanding. Thanks for your thoughts.
There Are Only So Many Seconds In A Day | ExPastors.com
[…] the battle is actually in our own minds. In my first article at ExPastors, I gave this challenge: “I know all too well the burden and stress of ministry and the toll it […]