8. REST!
When is the last time you rested? I mean, really rested. And I don’t mean a vacation, I mean time to get away, be fed, feed yourself, seek God for your life, your family and even your ministry. We can get so busy with the details that we never find the time to stop and just be.
Find the things that feed you and give you life away from ministry. Look up Spiritual Pathways as a good place to start. Also, Don’t carry the world on your shoulders, you know? We may plant and water. But God does the growing.
9. Add more things that give you life, and kill the things that drain you in ministry.
Obviously ministry is draining. But, if you can be using 70% of your time on the things that give you life and excites you and 30% on the things that drain you, you will be more likely to last.
You will go through seasons that the latter will be higher, but fight back to this healthy split. If you are doing too much of the things that drain, give it away. Trust me, there are people in your church that would love to do that one thing you hate because they want to be involved in ministry. I know that seems weird, but it is only because you hate it.
I remember having someone come up and ask me if they could help with my paperwork. What got them excited was Excel and spreadsheets. I remember thinking: “You are weird.” After I got over feeling guilty of handing this over to someone who enjoyed this, it became easier to empower people to share the load.
Start asking this question to people: “If you could do anything for God, what would it be? What are you passionate about, no matter how weird you think it is?” You will be surprised by what can be accomplished when you empower others who are gifted.
Closing Thought to Ponder: If you could see yourself doing anything else, MAYBE you should.
Ministry is hard work and it isn’t for the faint of heart and dealing with people isn’t an easy task. Now, I am not saying run at the first sign of trouble, but ask yourself: Are you COMPELLED to do this? Are you CALLED to do this? And please hear me: Do not make that decision hastily. Get guidance, prayer and seek God, cause maybe the church needs you and you need to push through (with some much needed changes in how you do it of course). Or maybe you simply need to change your ministry context and quit. Find a church that you can work well in (not easy, but healthy).
Now, I know all this is easier said than done, but I would still challenge you that there is a good chance that 90% of the battle is in your own head. We put way too much pressure on ourselves, and in a lot of ways that no one else is (though I know some churches are seriously unhealthy). Change isn’t easy, and this will take time, re-training and some hard work. But, you can’t afford not to make some changes.
If this resonates with you and you don’t know where to practically start, find someone to help you walk through it. If you have no one, let me be the first to say I would be willing to start that conversation with you and get you on the right foot.
If you could do anything for God, what would it be?
Photo courtesy: Miles F. Wilson
PJ
Its amazing how just doing one of these can reduce the stress in your job / life. Something that helped me during my time in the ministry was that I was going to try to say no more than yes to things that were outside my main ministry. I know that sort of sounds cruel, but it truly helped my family and def. didn’t hurt my ministry. I also surfed a lot, which always helps reduce the stress that can be ministry.
Drake Farmer
Amen and Amen PJ. Both were huge things for me. Saying no was a hard thing for me for a long time. But at some point I needed to realize that if my attention was divided and spread to thin, not only do I take to much time away from my family and personal needs, but I also don’t minister well. I do a whole lot of things poorly, instead of being focused on fewer things and doing them well and with excellence.
And right on with you on the surfing. I took off notifications from my phone for things like facebook and close the tab on my browser. They will be there when I check them later. Having my device ding every 5-15 minutes def sidetracks.
Another huge one that our lead pastor shared was if a task can be done in the 2 minutes I have at hand, I do it right away instead of putting it off. You would be amazed how much time that saves.
Thanks for the input PJ, great thoughts. 🙂
PJ
I find that my time in ministry has prepared me for business and my time in the business world prepared me for the ministry. So many times, the church doesn’t want to run the church like a business. But the realization is that we can take the qualities of both and use them in each other. I use a method called the Pomodora (basic time management / eyes off the screen). Every 25 mins, I take a 5 min break. I walk around, I hug my kids (I work from home), go outside to get fresh air, something to take my mind off the job.
Had I known about this method during my time in the ministry I might not have burned out, well that might not be true but you never know. I think we need these little “good distractions” to help us focus and return to what truly matters.
I like the if it can be done in 2 mins, do it mentality. So many little things take up much of our time because we didn’t just take care of it when we had the time.
I truly appreciate this article. We need good, constant reminders that we are humans as well as ministers. And that that combination does not make us superhuman.
Drake Farmer
PJ another great point! Yeah, I have been using that technique, without even realizing, since I was in college writing papers. It is amazing what getting up and walking away for a few minutes can do to help get a refresher and some perspective. Thanks for mentioning that.
Also, I agree. We can gain truth and principles from many differing fields. We don’t need to accept or adopt a entire framework just because we see benefits to part of it. Awesome point.
Glad you enjoyed the article and hope it benefits you as learning the experience has for me. 😉
Kelly E McClelland
Drake thank you for these tips! I resonate with the time management, expectations and hobby as all these have been helpful to my missionary leadership ministry. One thing I see often is unvoiced expectations creating tension, stress, burnout and dysfunction. Why didn’t they teach us that in ministry training?
Drake Farmer
I hear you. I think I learned so much more in the trenches and wondered why this wasn’t in the ‘manual’.
I am glad the article resonated with you, it is always encouraging to know that.
Can you go a bit deeper on the idea of ‘unvoiced expectation’?
Kelly E McClelland
When I speak of “unvoiced expectations” I probably would be more precise to say “unspoken”. From my coaching experience and as a missionary leader I see a lot of issues spring from lack of clear communications and unspoken expectations. This is true of both pastors/ministers and church members.
Often the stress and friction we experience in ministry is because we are both working under a different set of expectations.
Sort of like chores at home… your wife “expects” you to take out the trash. She has never told you that is her expectation though. You don’t “expect” to have to do that, so you do not! Her attitude toward you expresses a bit of frustration, yet you do not understand why since you think you are doing what YOU need to do.
Does that make sense?
In our churches, we need to discuss our mutual expectations with one another. Otherwise the trash builds up and so does the frustration! :-0
Drake Farmer
Yes. What I thought you were getting at. Thought it would be good to clarify and flush out. 😉
And I def agree. That can def cause a lot of stress. The always wondering and second guessing or doing and then being corrected or just a lack of guidance and understanding. Thanks for your thoughts.
There Are Only So Many Seconds In A Day | ExPastors.com
[…] the battle is actually in our own minds. In my first article at ExPastors, I gave this challenge: “I know all too well the burden and stress of ministry and the toll it […]