For me now, I do a lot of things to make ends meet. I don’t have it all figured out but I have learned some valuable things along the way about understanding our identity post-vocational ministry:
You are a friend of God.
When I was in the middle of my darkest, post-ministry season, God shared some very specific information about a man I’ve come to love and respect – who was also a full-time pastor.
I was confused and I remember asking God, especially in my spiritual condition, “Why did you share this with me?” Even now, writing this, I can feel the emotion swell as the Lord answered me back: “I shared this with you because you are my friend and I share things with my friends.”
I wept for many days. This experience was the turning point for me and my journey and I finally began looking for a way out of my cave.
If you are reading this and feel like you’re a million miles away from God right now, please know that no matter how broken your life feels right now, no matter the sin, Jesus looks your way and calls you His friend.
You are a child.
My children bare my image, whether they like it or not. They are of infinite worth to me simply because they are my children. And their identity as my children never changes based on what they do or don’t do.
The same is true for each of us. Being a child is a sweet deal and it has nothing to do with anything other than who my father is. Lean into that.
You are talented and gifted.
You may or may not be using your talents in full-time ministry any longer but you are still just as talented now as you were before. You are simply finding new vehicles to express the gifts you have. I have found that many of my gifts are more enthusiastically received and welcomed in the marketplace than they were in ministry.
You are a lover.
My job is to love, not to convict people of their sin – the Holy Spirit does a much better job of that than I do. It’s not my job to discipline or to direct, but to love.
I’m finding that all types of people, from all walks of life, respond in amazing ways when I choose simply to love them.
You are a person of influence.
Leadership is nothing more than influence. And I can’t think of anyone who is not a leader to someone else in some small way.
My role has changed but calling remains the same – I will always be a person of influence. I will always be a leader.
With that, I encourage you. There is hope, my friend. Your race still needs to be run and we can all finish strong. You may no longer work as a pastor vocationally, but you are still a person of influence, an agent of love, and a beloved son with talents and gifts.
And when God looks at you, He calls you His friend.
What else truly matters?
dougmurphy
I heard Rick Warren talking about identity the other day and he echoed this but added that often times God uses what we do to help develop or define who we are. So what we do is part of the process but the result. Do you think that is correct? and if so is that why its so easy to ge them mixed up because there is such close proximity
Jake T-Bomb Ray
I think everything in our life helps to develop us a person (and that God uses it all), but I stand solidly in the place that what who we are, at least largely and fundamentally, is not about what we do for a vocation. Does that make sense? Identity has to be about “being” not “doing” first and foremost.
Kelly E McClelland
Thanks for sharing your story! Powerful, heartfelt and very helpful. I agree with you (and the Bible) that we are defined by who we are in Christ first and foremost. Our earthly vocational identity and experience help define our carnal nature and certainly can and will shape us. But we have to be bound to our spiritual identity.
I’ve been teaching Ephesians to my SS class and stressing the dual aspect of positional truth (who we are in Christ which is dominant in the first 3 chapters) and temporal truth (what is our response to positional truth and how we apply it in our lives which is thematic in the last 3 chapters). That helps remind me of the need to maintain the God-connection for my identity and let that shape the rest of my life (rather than vice versa)
I’m very blessed by your post and glad to have found this blog!
Jake T-Bomb Ray
Kelly, thank you for your comment. Very insightful!
Ruslan Vilkhovyi
Thanks! Your experience touched my heart to the deep. I’ll pray for you.
Jake T-Bomb Ray
Thank you Ruslan
Jessica Zhuo
Thank you for this. I left pastoral ministry in church 3 years ago and finding healing and making sense of all the incidents during the time I was a paid staff in church took a while. This article really resonates with me and has been a great encouragement. I’ll be marking this as a favorite for re-reading !! 🙂
Bo Lane
Thanks, Jessica. Please feel free to share this with those you know of that are still in leadership. I appreciate you joining the conversation.
Jill McMillin White
Very very good article. After being in full-time ministry (more or less) for 30 years, last fall we resigned a church we had pastored for 10 years. And are now seeking to find our way apart from that “identity”. It’s good, but so tough too. I loved the way you worded things in this article. Thank you….
Diggs
In the midst of sorting this all out right now… Please please pray